If you’ve not seen Christian singer Matthew West’s video “Modest is Hottest,” too bad! It’s gone. West posted the song a few months ago, inten as a satire about being a self-proclaimed “over-protective” dad of two teenage girls. It’s clearly a spoof song poking at himself, which his family found funny. They all starred in the video wearing black turtle-necks with obviously theatrical smirks while Dad sings:
If I catching you doing dances on the TikTok In a crop top, so help me God You'll be grounded till the world stops I'm just kidding, no I'm not
'Cause modest is hottest, the latest fashion trend Is a little more Amish, a little less Kardashian What the boys really love is a turtleneck and a sensible pair of slacks Honey, modest is hottest, sincerely, your dad
Unfortunately the world has lost its sense of humor. Stand-up comedians grieve this daily, but I’ll give a Christian worship leader a pass for not realizing it, as typically humor is not part of the profession. But dare we - Christians, songwriters, artists, humans - satirize anything in this post-modern fragile special snowflake landscape, we risk being cancelled.
Comedians used to have an important role in society that went all the way back to the court jesters in royal societies. The jester was given a pass to be outlandish, rude, humiliating, and uncouth, as a sort of “cosmic balance” against the king taking himself or the kingdom statutes too seriously. When everyone fears saying or doing the wrong thing, life can become a bit…stiff. The jester was the relief valve, and a type of scapegoat. The jester could ridicule things - the king included - and people were allowed to laugh or react, which must have been a great load off, because often “jokes” reveal truths that people think quietly to themselves.
Carlin - classic comedian who sometimes got serious and often times got criticized for speaking truth, even through humor.
Stand-up comedy has always been shielded from shut-down as a sacred spitting-in-the-face of social norms, speech codes, and whatever else we make taboo, which risks making society too rigid. This is an extension of free speech. While there is always a risk of crossing the line and being cruel or unnecessarily spiteful, that is not the same as simply being offended. There is nothing inherently harmful about being the offender or offended. You can confront someone for stepping on your toes; whether it be malice or misunderstanding, an apology should suffice. But these days, being offended is seen as being on par with battery and assault, and other first degree criminal conduct.
Poor Matthew West. His innocent silly song, published in full consent by his family, was attacked for being misogynistic, subtly abusive, and representing all that is wrong about Christian culture: an overbearing morality that places horny, uncontrollable men as the head of the household, subjugating repressed women who can’t fully express themselves as individuals, particularly attractive, sexual ones. He was accused of perpetuating a damaging practice in Evangelicalism called “purity culture”, which in essence is the practice of getting kids to vow to save themselves for marriage, but has recently been maligned as a form of psychological abuse.
So-called purity culture was popular in the 1990’s-2000’s, right when I was coming of age. I experienced the good and bad of it first hand. It had the best intentions: protect your body from disease or teenage pregnancy, and preserve your most intimate, precious parts of yourself and your emotional connections for your spouse. As with many well-intentioned practices, they can become fetishized and fanaticized, pushed onto kids with fear, punishment, shame - not just from peers and parents, but from God himself.
Not sure how a “certificate of impurity“ is more noble than a “promise ring”…
I can see how there could be psychological confusion for some who may have been in the cross-hairs of purity pushers. But for goodness sake, you’re not going to make it through one day in this world if you interpret every interaction you have with another fallen, imperfect person as trauma so great that the entire sentiment behind such a movement - even Christianity itself - needs to be critiqued, deconstructed and “called out.”
I myself carried a bright pink card in my wallet as a high-schooler that I signed, received during a motivational speech by some random Christian teen sex expert, that became a sort of talisman of both trust and temptation, stating that I was agreeing to remain pure until the day I was married (The card didn't tell me that I wouldn't be married until 38 years old...). Some girls receive jewelry - a promise ring they don’t take off until their engagement ring replaces it. Apparently this is typically given by the fathers, insinuating that the father “holds” the daughter’s sexuality until they have a husband…personally I find all kinds of creepy in that.
Say Cheese! Bolz-Weber and Steinem with the vagina purity ring statue.
But equally creepy is “pastor” Nadia Bolz-Weber, who called on women to send her their purity rings, which she melted down and turned into a golden vagina, and presented as a gift to Gloria Steinem, radical 3rd wave feminist of the early 70’s, founder of female liberation and empowerment publication Ms. Magazine, outspoken abortion advocate, and CIA recruit.
These are extremes, from both sides. Matthew West’s song was not. He was not only teasing himself, but through humor - as a PG-rated jester - was asking us to think for ourselves about the concept of modesty and the pressures of social media culture on young people, specifically girls. But even this is too much for the cancel-culture-vultures, circling around every post. These scavengers are particularly crafty, as they not only feed off social media roadkill for clicks and likes, but they themselves are the ones that will run you over with a semi-truck of accusations and barbed buzz words.
Hey Twitter Storm: It was supposed to be funny.
Matthew West was hit by the progressive/ post-Evangelicals: the likes of Relevant Magazine and Audrey Assad, who have the audacity to call out both him and Christian culture, when they have removed themselves from the Christian scene, but conveniently weigh in as spokespeople for the religion when they have a snarky comment to make. It seems to me that a fair critique of Christian content should be from Christians who care about the quality of representation. Many others, including honest Christian channels and personalities, are going viral, weighing in on the topic.
Even if it is “offensive”, not sure I’d qualify it as a “hate crime”…
Sadly, West caved. He took the video down and offered a quasi-apology. But fear not, Christians and folks with senses of humor everywhere! I am posting my song “For a Church Girl,” a playful piece very similar in sentiment and tone to West’s song, talking about the pressures young Christian girls face, in particular with how they dress and remaining sexually “pure.” In fact, I have a line in the song that says:
Cuz I don’t think it’s modest, comparing who is hottest, Leaving nothing up to what one should only guess Though it’s hard to keep your promise, to show up in pajamas When all the other girls are barely dressed.
Being as I wrote this song 3 years ago, I technically beat West to his now infamous song title with an all-too-perfect rhyme. In good sportsmanship (and because he’s way more famous than me), I would have let him have it, but since he took his video down and is cowering at the phrase, game on: I get to claim it now. ;)
Having explained West’s song and the controversy behind it, there’s no need to detail mine, which speaks for itself. Enjoy, and go ahead: laugh at it; It’s not illegal…yet. Ask yourself what you think about purity culture, how far modesty goes, and where you personally experience the pressure of conforming to the world.
I hope West puts his song back up, and I pray that we as people of faith/ folks who believe in the importance of free speech, we can stand up to the pitchforked woke mobs who have too thin a skin to be in the presence of the holy fool, believing that social media should be a jest-free zone. Call-out culture would be funny, if it weren’t so dangerous.
A post from Reddit: what do you think about these points? Let me know in the comments section!
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