When I hear the phrase “spiritual warfare,” my immediate response is:
Time to fast and pray
God’s got this
Get out the sage
A man yells at me in traffic with road rage; I think to myself:
He’s possessed
He’s constipated
He’s got bad vibes
The Bob Dylan song that best describes my spiritual perspective is:
Talkin Paranoid John Birch Society Blues
Gotta Serve Somebody
Blowin in the Wind
Finish the sentence: “Satan…”
“...prowls around like a lion waiting to devour me at any moment.”
“...is a Bible character already conquered by Christ.”
“...is an anthropomorphism of the state of being not very nice.”
When someone is praying for a “hedge of protection,” I visualize:
Angels surrounding me
A literal hedge; good fences make good neighbors
A circle of fire
When someone says “the Devil can masquerade as an angel of light”, I think:
“Everyone is suspect; never let your guard down.”
“No worries - I don’t attend costume parties anyway.”
“We all have a light side and a shadow side.”
When I read about the Armor of God, I think:
“Bring it on!”
“Lemme check the Strong’s Concordance and get back to you.”
“I’m a pacifist and Jesus promotes peace; this is a metaphor.”
The “fiery dart of the wicked one” can be likened to:
Coming down with a cold during vacation
Being tempted into sin
Mercury in retrograde
What's the proper application of the “Sword of the Spirit (aka the Word of God)”?
Using the Book as a weapon - whack! - hence the term “Bible Thumping”
Proper exegesis of scripture; sound doctrine to avoid the dangers of heresy.
Reciting scriptures like incantations to ward off evil spirits.
None of the above.
Finish the sentence: “Exorcism is…”
“...one of Christ’s commissions for his followers”
“...something archaic and strange that only Catholic priests do”
“...elaborate rituals used to banish poltergeist activity.”
TALLY UP! If you scored:
Mostly A’s: You’re Missus Suspicious. You are always on guard, ready and poised for action. It would be hard to maneuver a sneak attack on you! You’ve taken your commission as a Christian seriously and keep your lamps trimmed and burning: Watchman on the Tower. You are a “prayer warrior”, literate in the signs of the times; you can see the bigger picture. You believe that people can be healed of illness and delivered from destructive lifestyles. The church needs people with your level of faith and fervency. Be careful, however, not to over-spiritualize common day occurrences. When you lose your keys, it’s most likely not the devil trying to make you late to work so you lose your job. Do not shirk personal responsibility with the victim mentality excuse: “the devil made me do it!” You understand believers can cast down strongholds, but the most trained exorcist always consults a psychologist before concluding a person is spiritually influenced. You are also at risk of tin-foil territory: commendably, you are willing to explore fringe topics because you know that the world is corrupt, but you often become so fascinated with the paranormal and “secret knowledge” behind it that you develop itching ears for anything conspiratorial. Though John the Baptist did refer to the Pharisees and Sadducees as a "brood of vipers," The Bible doesn’t directly say people are diabolical reptilian aliens. (Those shapeshifter YouTube videos tho!)
Mostly B’s: You’re Governor Grounded: You’re a realist; a pragmatist. You believe in logic, reason, the scientific method, most likely the 5 solas and at least a couple TULIP petals. You have a hotkey on your computer that auto fills in the word “discernment” and you’re quick to remind anyone getting dangerously close to Mostly A’s to “test the spirits.” Of course you understand that there is a spiritual realm - would be hard to believe in a God without that, and being a good Trinitarian, you emphatically confess the Holy Spirit. Nonetheless you are uncomfortable talking about such things as demons, angels, and unseen realms. It’s too mysterious and not easily applicable to basic Christian living in the mundane. When you’re honest with yourself, you don’t know much about what demonic activity looks like because you don't waste your time thinking about "far out" things. You’d rather focus on helping people understand the Bible and serving them at a soup kitchen. Please keep doing these practical charities. Nonetheless, be wary you do not throw the baby out with the bath, relying on your 5 senses and your wonderingly wrinkled brain so heavily that you are caught off guard when the (seemingly) illogical breaks through. We must embrace the incomprehensible, acknowledging that indeed there is more to heaven and earth than is dreamt of in our laboratories.
Mostly C’s: You’re Mister Mystical: Your Facebook bio says “We’re spiritual beings having a physical experience.” While your intentions are good, you are a dangerous combination of A and B: your spiritualized view of existence has become superstitious, while your deep thinking and meditation on the matter has lead to a sense of theoretical separation from a clear sense of good and evil: in your world view, things are metaphorical, archetypal, mythic. You follow Jung more than Jesus, relying on commentary rather than scripture itself. This more than likely is not your fault - “contemplative Christianity” and “Christian mystics” can slip in New Age and Neo-pagan concepts. The only thing worse than dictatorial theology is psycho-babble. While Mostly A’s might put emphasis on what’s behind the scenes and Mostly B’s put it on what’s in front of their nose, Mostly C’s rely on what’s inside: feelings, emotions, dreams and visions. This is dangerous because even the Devil himself can be brushed off as nothing more than a symbol, which brings to mind the well-known phrase: “the greatest lie the Devil ever told was that he didn’t exist.” As simply an archetype, the Devil can get away with a lot. And besides, what kind of armor is necessary against a concept? This kind of thinking lets our guard down. Get grounded: turn off the podcasts and philosophers and pick up a plow; get your hands in the dirt. And read the actual scripture. Hang out with a Mostly B for a while - when your butt goes numb on the uncushioned pew, call up Mostly A and have a Pentecostal dance party.
Mostly Mixed Up: You’re Detective Objective: Welcome to the club of friendly fair-weather folks just trying to freaking figure all this out! You are convicted, balancing passion with level-headedness. You are pretty confident you've got some things figured out, but you're also worried about making mistakes and looking bad, and especially terrified of offending anyone. This is the chink in your armor: by remaining too objective, you may fail to take any side, and, well, in this battle, there is no Switzerland. Could it be this position the Bible refers to as “lukewarm” - that which God spits out of his mouth? (And who can blame Him? I own a microwave simply for fixing my un-hot coffee.) Surround yourself with people you can trust, and be mindful of echo chambers. Remain rooted in Christian faith, but investigate what lies outside the Kingdom gates: we need to be shrewd, understanding the opposition's tactics as a way to help frame our own; sometimes it is easier to understand who we are when we clearly see what we are not. Find that sweet spot where all the stereotypes presented herein combine. Do your due-diligence in study and prayer, remain guarded yet open, read scripture, and of course, follow this blog. :)
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